Below is a guest post by Grace, for obvious reasons she wanted it not to be on her blog:
So. I dated this guy for something like 6 months. Exclusively, like we had met each other’s friends and stuff. I let him meet and interact with my kid. That’s a big deal, for me.
And then! He broke up with me by (GET THIS) deleting me as a friend on Myspace! (Blogged about this here: http://www.missdisgrace.com/2008/01/exactly-why-i-dont-let-my-guard-down.html and here: http://www.missdisgrace.com/2008/01/utterly-distractable.html). And that was it! Never heard from him again, until about 6 months after THAT when he re-requested my friendship on Facebook, and followed up with this email:
So I suppose you ignored the “friend” request on purpose. I can accept that. I mean, really, what do I deserve in the way of communication? I was a coward in walking away. It speaks nothing of you in terms of the relationship. Your judgement of character was not off…you just didn’t know that I have abandonment issues so in turn I do the running first. You did everything right; you are perfect. I miss you as a friend more than anything else. I apologize for that supreme showing of immaturity. I’m really not asking for anything from you. I just wanted you to know that it hurt me to walk away and it bothers me daily that we don’t talk. I guess a few of the small things spooked me and I didn’t want to deal with that. So I took the easy route. I hope all is well with you. Maybe I’ll hear from you. Or not. Either way, stay you.
And I responded with this:
I would think that by now you would have picked up on the fact that I don’t consider communication via
Myspace/Facebook valid communication. I generally require some contact that is more concrete. I suppose that this
For the record, I think that you indeed made it very clear that you have abandonment issues. However I don’t believe in using your past as an excuse for what you do in the present. If a mother was convicted of child abuse, she wouldn’t get off the hook because she had been abused as a child. Reasons, maybe. Excuses, never.
On an intellectual level, I’m pretty sure I have every reason to be angry with you for being such a pussy, but apparently I’m psychologically incapable of staying mad, so I think that I can probably be your friend.
If nothing else, I hope that you learn how to better handle yourself in the future.
Take care of yourself,
And…then a couple months ago, we’re friends on The Facebook, he sends me a message like, “Hey I’m having a baby with my girlfriend!” To which I was like “Neat! I don’t really care!” Except I care enough to check out his pics on a fairly regular basis and reassure myself that he is indeed flawed. And why does he keep telling me about this child? It’s not like we’ve moved beyond anything into any kind of friendship? It bothers me, but I feel like unfriending him or whatever would just be validating the fact that he bugs me.
And then! He emailed me to tell me that they’re naming their son Bradyn Maverick. And that name annoys me on so many levels. And really, THIS is the part I can’t put on my blog. All of the other stuff about him being a pussy, etc., I think he should have to own. But I feel sort of guilty bashing on the name that his girlfriend doubtless selected. But BRADYN MAVERICK? I asked him if he was into Sarah Palin and he asked, “No, why?”