Comments on: Therapy notes: Watching the movie

By: Nikki B.

Nikki B. — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 04:49:10 +0000

We talk so often about people who have been through this trauma as “victims”. We say things like “I don’t know how you survive”. We discuss, either to their face or to their back, how we understand that they are jaded. Broken. We expect them to be. We expect them to never be the same.

Rarely do we talk about them as SURVIVORS. As someone who can go through that horror and come out the other side. Surely, they are not the same, but they do no need to remain forever a victim.

On one hand, I think it is a need we have, to make clear the absolute destruction and violation of rape, of assault. As a woman, I understand the impulse to make a rape survivor always a victim, so we never forget her crime and so we take this violation seriously enough. I get it. I do.

On the other – this dialogue, this mantra, means we never let *victims* become *survivors*.

I see your pain, only in the pain I have felt from my friends who have experienced it. I can never truly understand.

I am also humbled by your strength, and the reminder that we must always help the victim become the survivor. It is always possible – and we can start with leaving being the idea that they will always be broken.

By: Stimey

Stimey — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 04:31:08 +0000

I hadn’t read this before. I’m so sorry.

By: Defiantmuse

Defiantmuse — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:30:42 +0000

there are no words.

((hugs))

By: Mary

Mary — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:30:05 +0000

I’ve only recently started reading your blog.
So I’m late here.
I don’t know what to say. I’m just crying. This horrible thing should not happen to anyone. I am going to go to my little girl’s bedroom, even though she is asleep, and just hold her.

By: flutter » Blog Archive » You know someone.

flutter » Blog Archive » You know someone. — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 22:30:47 +0000

[...] You know someone who has lived the fear. [...]

By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 13:59:06 +0000

Oh, shit. How had I not seen this post? I am sorry it took so long for me to find it. (Thanks for linking back). Oh, shit. Oh, oh, oh. Oh.

By: carrie

carrie — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 08:10:11 +0000

Just wanted to lend my support to you and your vivid words about something so painful . . . I’m glad you were able to get through that session. So. glad.

By: Angharad

Angharad — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 19:48:20 +0000

thank you for writing about this. i hope you are ok.

By: maggie

maggie — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 15:40:35 +0000

Delurking to say, oof. I’m sorry you have to go through this. Be strong.

By: ewe_are_here

ewe_are_here — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 19:19:26 +0000

There are no words except …

You are so incredibly brave and strong to confront this so.

Be well.