Comments on: on beating a dead horse

By: Stewkey

Stewkey — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:17:32 +0000

I think I’d like to take those people who dissed you for your weight and kick their collective butt all over the yard. The business with the heart-shaped candy box, what was up with that? Those things aren’t cheap. That bitch paid all kinds of money just to diss you? What kind of human bacteria was she?

FWIW, I once loved a woman who weighed 220 pounds. I could have cared less about her weight. She was smart, affectionate and heck of a gardener.

By: Stimey

Stimey — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 18:11:31 +0000

I know it is hard to believe when people say it, but you ARE beautiful. You really are. Seeing you in person at BlogHer, you ARE beautiful.

I have similar struggles. I know weight won’t change what is inside, but it just feels like it changes so much. I have a lot more thoughts on this, but you have said so well many of the things I think.

By: me

me — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 01:56:45 +0000

When asked this week what I want out of therapy, this was the very conversation that I began. It’s so not about food. It’s so so so not about food. I wish I could give you a hug.

By: Mutha

Mutha — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:22:22 +0000

Weight is a struggle for me too. Using a prescription, I took off 122 pounds last year. I had a lot of health problems this spring, had to have my gallbladder out, got pregnant, had a miscarriage. Gained 40 of it back.

Right now I feel horrible about how I look, although I know that I am ten times healthier than when I was much heavier. I feel bad because I haven’t maintained and I know that if I keep up eating like I am, it’ll be 50, 60, 80 lbs that comes back.

I am going to be hating food my whole life because I am some sort of addict to it. It sucks, but that’s it in a nutshell. Weight tortures me daily.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:39:15 +0000

but…. dude… I think you’re pretty. I don’t think you are the fat girl. and I’m a bitch. Just sayin’

By: Jocelyn

Jocelyn — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:46:52 +0000

I”m with MamaTulip. You’ve typed up much of my own experience–and that of my sister…yet so many people are stunned by the realities of what it is like to not be thinnish.

At the moment of penetration, as I lost my virginity, the man above me said, “Keep losing weight. Then you’ll be more attractive.” I mean it: right in the moment.

I’m so with you.

By: chanda(aka bea)

chanda(aka bea) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:05:30 +0000

I hate that I missed this post. That’s what going out of town to dial up hell will get me.

Im surprised that people are surprised that this sort of thing happens. It happens a lot, and it makes me feel impotent with rage.

You are beautiful inside and out, but I know, cruelty cuts so deep it’s impossible not to take it’s lies as truth. But that’s exactly what they are, ugly lies that are no where near close to touching who you are.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:15:23 +0000

Dear Flutter,
I read you blog only from time to time, but I’ve seen your picture. Your beauty is unquestionable. Carry on …

By: chaotic joy

chaotic joy — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:57:30 +0000

I just came back from an anniversary weekend with my husband. And after several alcoholic beverages we were bantering back and forth and I blurted out “You just want me to loose this damn weight.” And he said back to me seriously. “Lose it, or love it, I don’t care which. I just want you to feel as beautiful as I already think you are.”

Sigh. And that’s the struggle isn’t it. Learning to love ourselves, whatever skin we’re in.

And I agree. Mean people suck.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:14:17 +0000

I know exactly what you mean. The burden of assuming there is some implied meaning when you are given a diet soda instead of the regular one that you ordered, or the sideways glances from people you knew in high school, like “is that really her?” Yeah. It’s me, I’m not the biggest one in the room either, but I’m a lot different than I was when I weighed 100 pounds. I’m about 80 pounds bigger.

Sometimes my esteem will be high, and the other times, it’s lower than low. I wish I could figure it out for good. Be happy about myself for good. Make the decision to be healthy inside and out (and in my mind) and just let it be . . .