disintegration
from the freeform rhyme collection
feel it slip, down and through
lose the pieces genuine you
watch it melt feel it slide
where loss and reckoning collide
disintegration
annihilation
equivocation
and I fall.
watch it drown, feign surprise
get it lost in starlit skies
Help me, love me, find me whole
press the diamond from the coal
disintegration
provocation
this sensation
to you I call
April 4th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
press the diamond from the coal.
I love that.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I like the physical form of the poem and the way the words sound so that the whole thing feels like tumbling and falling.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
powerful words dear.
April 4th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
“press the diamond from the coal.” Heart-stopping.
Every day, that’s what we do, isn’t it?
April 4th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
would you consider using the podcast thingy that Maggie does? It would really blow me away.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
i like this prose, has this been put to music? it seems to have a musical cadence to it.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
That darn Janet just took my comment VERBATIM. Must go kick Jane’t a$$.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
i like it all — especially “get it lost in starlit skies”
April 4th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Wow.
“Watch it drown. Feign surprise.”
That speaks to me.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
“Help me, love me, find me whole
press the diamond from the coal”
Love that.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Your words…so moving. Van is right…you should collaborate and set them to music.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Wow.. I like it!
April 4th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
very free flowing, the words slide eagerly from one to the next.
April 4th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Awesome.
April 4th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
As ever, at once haunting and hopeful.
April 4th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Slam!
April 4th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
to lu, i add: and dunk.
what are we all? hopefully, old coal. old, old coal.
beautiful.
April 4th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
this is so musical, i agree.
bella, my bella.
April 4th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Like a lot of the others, I love that diamond-coal line; just a great phrase with excellent placement.
Dark and Divine, indeed.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I would say divine.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
You feel like the diamond needs to be pressed out still, but all I can see is diamond already when I look your way.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
I’m with FuriousBall, this piece of poetry had a rhythm that was addictive…an inner drum. Staying with me! Powerful images, especially of the falling..
April 5th, 2008 at 12:01 am
beautiful, simply beautiful.
April 5th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Oh my GOD! did no one else notice that I got a MENO comment on a POEM?!?!?!
April 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Jesus if you tell me you wrote that I will quit writing right now. NOW.
April 11th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Hey lovely Flutter girl. I’ve been offline again for about a week (and won’t be able to regularly read or comment anyone until we get this house ready to sell, then moved into a new place)….so I’m getting caught up here again. I LOVE this freeform post. Like Furiousball, I can totally feel a musical vibe in this one. Take care you.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Nice movement of words!