This photo has nothing to do with the post
(yes, that really is my mother playing Guitar Hero. She totally rules)
I have a problem.
The urge to write is overwhelming me. In every day, in every moment, in every moment my desire is to be spilling words on a page.
Even when I am writing, other vignettes are dancing around in my head. They paint footprints in the sand of my head and distract me from doing things I ought to be doing. Like a limb missing, when I am not able to express at the moment inspiration strikes I feel a phantom pain. When I cannot construct an edifice of words that suit my idea, my irritation is palpable.
Slightly obsessive, maybe compulsive, as rich as air scented with heady blooms- writing is not a part of me. It is not a choice, it is not a hobby. It is who I am. It is fascinating how much more I am learning about myself.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:10 pm
The photo does rock all by itself though.
I’m not surprised by your need to write. It’s obvious from the amazing words that find their way to the page through your hands.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:11 pm
that picture has nothing to do with this comment
“air scented with heady blooms- writing”
was misread as …
“air scented with heavy bosoms”
which is how i like my air scentery
April 21st, 2008 at 4:13 pm
i love that you’re learning. and writing. and you know we’re all ready to read when you are ready to share
April 21st, 2008 at 4:52 pm
What a cool Mom. I don’t play Guitar Hero. I’m afraid I’ll look like an idiot.
I know the urge that you are describing. It’s how you know that a writing is not what you do but who you are.
April 21st, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Well, I think you *should* be writing. It’s what you do! Obviously you have something burning to say… so write!
April 21st, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Then write.
April 21st, 2008 at 5:24 pm
OMG. I wish I lived closer to you (or like, in the same country). I love Guitar Hero – your mom and I could duel. LOL!
And – re: your problem? Yeah. Same here.
April 21st, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Isn’t it nice when passion meets talent. Alas my hopes to be a world renowned ukulele player have been hampered by my tin air. Though I do dream that one day I will be awesome at Ukulele Hero. Oh to dream.
April 21st, 2008 at 5:59 pm
your mom rocks. (hehe)
and your writing need? DUH. hehe. think i’ve been telling you that for years now!! you have books and screenplays and poetry just waiting for you to open the door and let them out. I know, I know, you have bills and life to deal with. have you considered never sleeping again?
favorite song line of mine: 2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
makes me think of you.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:09 pm
That picture is FUN.
I love to write. I REALLY do, and my life right now does not exactly lead easily to lots of writing time – someday, though.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I totally understand. I wish my words weren’t clogged inside, they want out, but I can’t find a way right now. I think it’s an ebb and flow for me.
I freaking love that your mom plays guitar hero! I’m terrible at it, but it’s so much fun. I’m really wanting DDR but haven’t justified the whole game packaging set-up yet.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:27 pm
I love that your mom plays guitar hero!
And I love that you write… I hope you always will
April 21st, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Nodding.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:44 pm
I’ve been lurking for a little while, but today’s post spoke to me directly and I had to respond. Writing is, I’ve come to understand, something I both love to do and NEED to, yet I sometimes go days without stringing words together and I feel as though the unwritten words (but collected, sorted, conceived) in my HEAD are jammed. I’ve recently found that I write in the way that delights ME by speaking into my mp3 player and then transcribing.
I understand. Thank you.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:46 pm
I often feel like if I could just get the words right I could quiet my mind.
I hope your writing helps you get is out.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Write. I can’t wait to Read.
Guitar Hero Playing Mom?? Awesome! I challenge her to a duel. (It should be noted that I suck at it…)
April 21st, 2008 at 7:59 pm
ok your mom BEYOND rules. now start writing, babe.
April 21st, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Write, baby, write! God knows you’re good at it. I envy your obsession. Writing for me seems to be all struggle, and very little flow, kind of like exercising stiff muscles.
April 21st, 2008 at 9:42 pm
We got our weekend guests hooked on the Guitar Hero, too! We love it! It is the only game I can kick Josh’s ass at, so that makes me love it even more. LOL.
It is who you are. I think we all know that.
April 21st, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Never be without a pen and paper.
Of course, you’re a writer.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:52 pm
It absolutely is who you are. You have an incredible gift to match your beautiful smile. (Just realized I never commented on the AWESOME pics you posted.)
It would be a strange thing indeed if you *didn’t* have words dancing through your mind and out of your fingers, C. It simply couldn’t be otherwise. You are an artist. And I love your art.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:11 am
They say (and I’m not sure who they is) that writers are not made they are born and cannot actually be anything but writers. It’s nice to feel so firmly planted with purpose, no?
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:40 am
OMG – look at your mom!!!
It is fabulous that you are so inspired and passionate. Now about that book…
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:41 am
I love your mama playing the guitar…
I get irritated for feeling irritated when my life as wife/mother collides with the chatter in my head.
I get it.
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:08 am
Great photo!
And awesome…writing, exploring, learning…fantastic. YGG!
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:20 am
writing is part of your soul, dear flutter. you cannot go without it, your heart would wither like a body without water.
sorry i haven’t been around lately–trying to get back to blog reading this week…
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:01 am
yes, she totally rocks!
i write in my head all the time. all the time. when i finally get to the computer, it’s never the same.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:05 am
I hear you! Never enough time. Never enough pens. And what a pest to be writing one thing and have another pulling at your ear!
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:12 am
Guitar Hero is my religion. Glad to see your mom’s a convert.
You are a writer. Indeed.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:20 am
i don’t think it’ll surprise you if i tell you that i’m the same way.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:39 am
In a scary-sort of way, I yearn for the future where I can plug a cable directly into my brain and download it into the computer. As my hands age, they can’t type as fast or as well as they used to. And they sure can’t keep up with the thoughts, ideas, and whole novels that swirl around in my head constantly…
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 am
I love that your mom plays Guitar Hero and is good at it! She’s very cute, btw.
I so understand what you mean about not necessarily WANTING to write, but HAVING to write. I feel the same way, though I’m nowhere as lyrical in my words as you are! But painting isn’t enough – I need to put down words.
Good post – hope you’re having fun with your mom (Hi Mom!)
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:45 am
What is this Guitar Hero of which you all speak? (slinking off feeling so old and unhip).
We are all better for your love of writing, Flutter. Thank you.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 am
It is fascinating me how fascinated you are with learning about your fascinating self. You dig? Keep on, sister!
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Isn’t it amazing how much you learn about yourself in certain silences? I feel like I haven’t been able to catch up with myself lately, the “usual” things I do are being pushed to the side and around, and I, like you, am seeing new sides of self…
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I love that you love your mom.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
That urge, it shows. It shines out of your writing, your words. It is what makes the difference between a good writer and a born writer. You my dear, are a born writer.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
like a missing limb! amen. “A writer writes.” (heh) meaning, the urge will force you to find a way to do it.
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
You are a born writer. You have to write. It is vital to your being. Yes, you are a writer.
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I love that picture! I am so glad you are having fun. It gives you even more to write about.
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
dude your mom kicks serious ass.
April 22nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
When Antonya Nelson came for a talk about chairing the National Book Awards last year, she talked about having this kind of compulsion, about how she couldn’t imagine life without writing. She held writing and breathing in the same esteem. http://www.reaaward.org/html/antonya_nelson.html
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Hang up the phone, I’m coming over.
So is that a Wii game or something?
How about jotting notes? Sometimes it works for me….usually I throw it out as crap. But that me we’re talking about.
Liv keeps inviting me to stay in your room at BlogHer. And I’m totally NOT even considering it, but I want you to know that just the thought of rooming with you makes me giddy. (But I had forgotten about the gas issues. Nah, I’d still love it a lot.)
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Send your mom over here! I’m horribly addicted to that game. What a guilty pleasure.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Keep writing, girlfriend. Get one of those cheap memo books and carry it everywhere. I do this if I’m working on a new story, or a paper for class. You just never know when an idea that’s been floating around your head, all vague and undefined, will suddenly float to the surface and become crystal clear. I’ve even pulled out my little .mp3 player, which has the ability to record, and spewed my revelations whilst driving.
I took some cool pictures this weekend of my parents playing Rock Band. There’s nothing as cool, in a payback sorta way, at hearing your dad struggle through Enter Sandman . . .
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Love that photo of your mom, related or no!
Keep writing. We will most certainly keep reading.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Yep. Write. Write. Write.
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
By all means, let it out.
And I’m impressed that your Mom can play sitting down. I can’t play unless I stand up and dance. It totally helps my score!
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:35 am
I love your words as I love you*
April 23rd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
how sad that your mother is probably better at guitar hero than I am and I can play the guitar. a little bit.
April 23rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Well I’m glad that you do (write that is).
And what is this Guitar Hero?? Gwen is not the only unhip one here, I fear.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Loved seeing the mom photos–now I know where you get both your beauty and sense of fun and play. She reminds me a little of Shirley Jones (whose bearing is regal, I’m told, by a Palm Springs spa denizen of the 80′s). But I bet Ms. Jones wouldn’t be caught dead playing Guitar Hero. LOL!!
oh, and if I were filthy rich (instead of having to raise fifty bucks to be broke) I would whisk you down to the picturesque Oregon Coast and install you in a secluded B&B with no television or electronic gadgets except for a notebook. That and maybe a cellphone, so you could write and order pizza when you felt like it.
April 29th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Just catching up on your posts now and I want to comment on all but I can’t because I need to write. I need to write every day right now to wrap my head around things. Writing has been so healing for me over the last year. It has pulled pieces into place. It sounds like we have the same problem…