It’s just too hot
Arizona was no place that I thought I would love. I came here following my heart. The one that resides in a chest other than mine. The one that stares back at me from blue eyes.
The one that lives and beats in a laughing, brilliant, ethical, farting man whose lips I kiss when he falls asleep on the couch.
So, anyway that’s why I am in Arizona. Not for some dream that I have had since childhood, to have my shoes melt to the pavement in summer, or to have to sprint from my car into work in July so that my spf 452 isn’t evaporated by the devil sun. Or to live without the ocean.
There are days when the heat is so overwhelming that it is all I can do not to shrivel in the car. But today, as I drove home in the afternoon, the simple beauty of this place settled in, and owned a place in me. A place that yearns for simplicity.
Against the warm sky and the gentle swelling of a mountain range the saguaro reached heavenward. They blossom little cactus daisies, ringing a crown along the top. A coronation of unforgiving heat to come, of the windy rain of the monsoons on the horizon. Where lightning illuminates the desert an icy blue. The rusted oranges and browns of the landscape give way to the most surprising of colors. I sat at a stoplight, transfixed by the dusty violet of a small, round cactus, then another, then another. Dotted along the orange of the sun parched ground this little oasis of color threw shadows short inches forward. These brave, sturdy things filled with the rainwater of tens of summer storms. Prevailing.
This place, so different than my first glimpse of Arizona. The place of pine trees and high mountains, of snow storms and true autumn. This place, austere and somehow sophisticated. Somehow welcoming and off putting. This place I call home.
I think I can get used to it.
June 3rd, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Sounds like you have as hard a time with the heat as I do with the heat and humidity. I love the winters and the long springs, but my GOD the heat in summer is killing! Add in the 80-90% humidity, and I’m just a puddle of sweat and misery for much of the summer.
Wouldn’t you love to live in Texas?!?
June 3rd, 2008 at 9:09 pm
-30 doesn’t phase me, but +30 drives me batty. Well, everything above 20 drives me into the basement where I hide from the heat.
And I too want to know if you’ve some dream locale where you want to live some day?
June 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I was only in Arizona once, back in May of 1973, and absolutely came to love that state! The Canyon is awesome, of course, but all the cactii in blossom were incredible! I made the mistake of getting a little too close to a Cholla and it reached out and bit me good. I hated to leave there. But, I wasn’t there during the hottest part of the year, either. Today down here on the coast, it was 92 and humid, not a lot of fun to be outside, which was where I had to be most of the day.
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I was in Arizona a few times when I was performing with a dance troupe. So I know all about the heat there. Now imagine dancing with this huge folklorico dress, with long sleeves and a face full of stage make-up on an outside stage in August. Fun. Beautifully written. I am glad you followed your heart. Some people are too afraid to do that, afraid of the unknown. You are brave. I look up to you.
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Arizona heat…it does take getting use to, but once you do, there is so much beauty. I am glad you think you can get use to it and call it home. Following your other heart, was a huge leap of faith, and I am glad you jumped.
XOXO
June 4th, 2008 at 12:45 am
It is beautiful here. There are definitely things that make it worth the five months of mind-melting heat.
June 4th, 2008 at 1:22 am
You manage to make me, who hates heat about 25 degrees with a passion, want to visit. It sounds beautiful and a world away from what I know.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:19 am
I was checking the upcoming forecast on the iPod last night and saw that it’s supposed to be like 94 degrees here this weekend. My first thought was, “94?!?!?! It’s only… wait… it’s June.” Then I whined about the heat that wasn’t even here yet.
June 4th, 2008 at 5:33 am
Arizona is a beautiful and strange place. I can honestly say there’s no other state like it. It’s hot, but not humid. It’s colorful, but not lush. I lived in Phoenix for awhile when I was little and used to visit my Grandparents there once a year. I would go hiking up Camel-Back Mountain just to get a glimpse of the city below. Unfortunately, the city was always blanketed in smog, so there was nothing to see. That never stopped me from trying and hoping though.
June 4th, 2008 at 5:54 am
I’m so envious of your state. When we visit my parents there each winter I fall more in love with it each time. No humidity, sunshine, sunshine and yet more sunshine.
We’ve yet to hit 70 degrees here yet. Hold me.
And try not to melt.
June 4th, 2008 at 6:30 am
Where did you come from before AZ? I have never been but I think if I do go, I’ll go in the winter.
Glad you are finding beauty in your new home… I am sure that makes the boy happy, too!
June 4th, 2008 at 6:36 am
I’d love to see that landscape with my own eyes, but never having been to Arizona, I will just take your word for it – and beautiful words they are.
It took me a long time to love the landscape of South Florida and in order to really perfect my new appreciation for the place, I became a landscape architect (I never do anything halfway). So there’s a thought for you. You could wrap your arms fully around those cacti and begin placing them in other people’s yards.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:00 am
Rather in keeping with Julie’s Hump Day Hmm today.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Your descriptive paragraph that began “Against the warm sky . . . ” was amazing. This is one thing I’ve never been good at, writing descriptions of places that are more than “The sky was blue, the grass was green, and the rain was wet.” But I’m getting better . . .
Never been to Arizona. And I used to really hate heat, when I was a big fat guy. I might actually enjoy it now. Not as much gross sweating and slipping on the car seats.
Nice work, girlfriend.
Brian
June 4th, 2008 at 7:34 am
“These brave, sturdy things filled with the rainwater of tens of summer storms. Prevailing.”
[bowing to you]
I’ve never been to Arizona. I want very much to go, especially now that I know you are there.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:34 am
you describe it so beautifully, it’s easy to see why that landscape has drawn artists for decades. You paint it with words.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:36 am
heat, the indomitable heat. and the sacrifices we make.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:52 am
I love how you described your other heart. That is exactly what everyone wants when they describe love…*sigh*
My husband used to live in Tuscon and still gets misty-eyed when he describes how it smelled after a rain.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:58 am
where have i been? i don’t know. i’ve missed you. the heat is horrible. the love? that’s all good.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:58 am
my ex complained everywhere we lived, she never understood it was the home she made, not where we were on the map
June 4th, 2008 at 10:07 am
I don’t know which is worse…..that dry heat you feel or the outrageous humidity that catches your breath in your chest here.
Aww…..there’s no place like home!
June 4th, 2008 at 10:26 am
I have never been to Arizona. Your words paint an evocative picture in my head.
It’s still hoodie and jeans weather here in lovely S. Ontario. My feet are cold. I miss the sun. I’m cranky.
June 4th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I hate cold weather so I always think it would be so much better in that hot arizona sun…
June 4th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I think the Arizona tourism board should hire you for their marketing, Flutter. Of course, you might need to throw in the offer of true love, too, but certainly worse lies have been told in the service of advertising (not that your love is a lie, only that the rest of us can’t really be guaranteed to find that thing that makes a place a home).
June 4th, 2008 at 11:31 am
and I was just going to ask if it was just me…
June 4th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Now that I’ve left that heat I can’t go back. I almost pass out when I visit in December.
You captured what it offers though.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Yes, but isn’t it a dry heat?
I know like that means a damn. The colors are brilliant and you describe then so well. I might have to flip through my sedona pictures today.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I have never been to Arizona, but I hear that you guys have “spritzer systems” that spray water in pedestrian areas in the summertime to cool people off? True or false? Also, the spiritual vortexes. I would totally want to check those out.
June 4th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I was just refalling in love with AZ yesterday afternoon as I stepped into my house with my overdrugged cat…the gentle cool breeze was coming through the windows, and it’s cloudy and blustery today. Of course, after living in N. AZ most of my life, I am one of those people that can survive the summers with no AC…weird but true…
June 4th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I vividly remember driving my crappy old VW with no a/c through Phoenix in the middle of summer. It was barely 10am and already nearly 100 degrees. My two cats were in the back seat about to MELT. I was spraying them with a water bottle trying to cool them down. Of course, they did not like that but hey it’s better than heatstroke.
So yeah. Arizona. Fucking hot, dude.
June 4th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I don’t usually do well in the heat, but the picture you paint makes me want to see it with my own eyes.
June 4th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
This is the same process i went through when i moved to Colorado from Seattle. “How ugly this is,” i thought when we first arrived.
“How beautiful this is,” i thought four years later when we left.
I could use a little of that heat right now please.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I’ve never been to Arizona and never felt heat like that but I do love the desert. I love the desert because it’s so matter of fact, blunt almost. Everything has a purpose, there are few niceties. I can understand that and respect that. Added to that is a simple beauty. I like that.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Like Catnip, I’m not a big fan of heat. But yes, you make me really want to go to Arizona! (Their tourism bureau should hire you!)
June 4th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Love is grand – deserts however, just don’t do it for me. I’ve heard they can be quite beautiful, but see – polar bears don’t stand a chance in deserts. (its supposed to hit a 100 here tomorrow – I’m in hell for the next 3 months)
In the immortal words of my grandmother: “Anything over 65 degrees is too hot!”
Amen grandma!
June 4th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I love heat and lots of sunshine. Which is why West Texas remains on of my favorite vacation haunts.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
You know. The only plants I have are cacti. And Arizona, just the name. like Montana, or any kind of twangy kinda state gets all mythic in my head.
I love that you have such a huge love for a blue eyed ethical man who farts.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Replace “Arizona” with “Michigan” and “hot” with “cold” and you have my sentiments exactly. But now that it’s Spring, I get to see all the little birds and other critters and flowers and I smile.
It’s amazing what love (of a boy, of nature) can do, no?
ps – your purdy necklace left MI yesterday.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
I love the desert southwest for all the reasons you describe. When I lived in Santa Fe, I was a frequent visitor to Scottsdale. Thanks for the memories.
June 4th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
i love deserts – the heat doesn’t seem so bad without humidity. i would love to see arizona – you must take photos for us! although your words conjour it up pretty well…
June 5th, 2008 at 12:46 am
So lovely! Glad it is feeling more like home.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:50 am
Arizona appeals to me, in a strange way. We almost moved there years ago–Scott was offered a teaching job at a community college there, but we didn’t take it.
It’s hot here now–and horribly HUMID. Yuck.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:37 am
well, you make it sound beautiful too.
June 5th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Now I want to move there.
And with YOU there??
Twice as beautiful…
June 5th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Your description of it is gorgeous! I’ve been there once (in 1998) and I remember getting out of the car and noticing a puddle of ass sweat on the seat….um, gross.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:21 am
It sounds so pretty and big and wide.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
A ton of people from my town go to Arizona for the winter. It’s good for asthma or something.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Your evocative words brought me back somewhere I really enjoyed living. My husband and infant daughter made the move from Seattle to Phoenix in August of 1995; we began our drive in misty rain and 67 degrees and ended it in 115 and blazing sun — we’d moved to MARS. We lived in first Scottsdale, then Mesa (practically Tempe) and I came to appreciate the stark beauty, the LEMON TREES and that glorious scent, the muted colors, the kitty-litter “lawn,” the cactus gardens, the monsoons… Three years later we moved to New England and apart from the fact that it took me a YEAR to feel warm, I do love it up here (my default weather setting). That said, I do miss AZ. There is really no place like it.
June 6th, 2008 at 2:00 am
I’d love to see it someday.
June 6th, 2008 at 6:32 am
i feel like a cornball for even writing such a cliche, but…home is where the heart is and it sounds like you’ve found a home for yours.
one of the best trips i’ve ever taken was to phoenix, when my hub and i were still dating. i’m fascinated and admittedly, a little terrified of the desert.
June 6th, 2008 at 7:21 am
I’ve been thinking of the dusty violet of a small, round cactus all day *
June 6th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Oh, to fall in love with one’s home! What a step towards daily peace.
June 6th, 2008 at 9:35 am
I would so live in the southwest if my skin would let me. Just living in Oklahoma dried it out to cracked and bleeding in spite of endless lotions, sunscreens and moisturizers. I don’t know WHAT it would do should I decide to move to AZ or NM!
June 6th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
we honeymooned in arizona. in july.
whew!
June 12th, 2008 at 6:53 am
There is a beauty to dead heat of Arizona that drew me there all the way from Toronto almpst 15 years ago. When I read this it made me yearn for it again…