NC-17
I wanted him.
I stared down the perfect slope of his nose as the yellowy light of the tacky lamp made his skin look golden. It made mine look sallow, but his? Golden. He hadn’t expected me to sprawl myself across the bed of this hotel room, watching him. He hadn’t expected me to be the aggressor. I knew the moment he reached his hand out toward mine, that I loved him.
I wanted him to kiss me as he hugged me and ran this thumb over my left cheekbone. I wanted him to kiss me as I leaned the side of my face into his palm and closed my eyes. I wanted him to kiss me as we sat on the red leather seats of an old steakhouse. Worn smooth from years of smoke and the lingering of lovers over wine, served in inappropriate glasses.
I wanted to run my toes up the inside of his leg, under the table.
I wanted to take his lower lip between my teeth.
I wanted to kiss him until I had no breath left. Until the air in his lungs filled mine, until we were inseparable by light, by space, by small particles of dust that hung in the void between us. I just wanted to press the length of myself against every inch of him. To know him as much as I knew myself. To know him better.
I wanted him, just for me.
I thought, as lightly kissed the corner of his mouth :
I am not good for you
You are too young for me
I am damaged
I am not good enough
But I took him as mine, my unwavering happiness and he took me, as his.
August 26th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Hot damn, girl.
And, sigh…
August 27th, 2008 at 12:48 am
It gave me goosebumps. Beautiful
August 27th, 2008 at 3:37 am
Aw. Such a sweet thing to read first thing in the morning. You guys are like…Westley and Buttercup.
August 27th, 2008 at 4:02 am
Damn, girl. You write your ass off don’t you? This phrase, “served in inappropriate glasses” says so much about the kind of steak house you’re in. I love it. I can’t wait to curl up with your book once it comes out.
August 27th, 2008 at 4:13 am
Love what Blog Antagonist says…
Thankful that these things happen, these heart throbbing unions.
August 27th, 2008 at 5:45 am
you are always, more than good enough. always. xo
August 27th, 2008 at 6:27 am
Ssssssmmokin’!!!
Yet subtly noir.
Excellent . . .
August 27th, 2008 at 6:47 am
dang.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:48 am
That was a lovely piece; it painted the perfect picture, so easy to draw in my mind’s eye.
Ain’t love just grand?
Beautifully done, Flutter.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:57 am
That was HOTT, girl! You could free-lance as a soft porn writer, you know?
I’m have to go have a moment alone now! ;P
August 27th, 2008 at 6:59 am
“I’m have to go have …”
Sheesh! See how bothered I am? I can’t even rein in the grammar!
August 27th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Not soft porn, hawt romance. Loved it.
Your words paint such a full picture; “served in inappropriate glasses.”
August 27th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Talk about steamy before my morning coffee. Loved it.
August 27th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Perfect. Makes me nostalgic and hopeful and jealous all at once.
August 27th, 2008 at 7:54 am
Yum. Meow! Reading this made me want him too. Just kidding! :O) But really…..tell me more. :O)
August 27th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Beautifully done.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:18 am
the best of love stories….
August 27th, 2008 at 8:22 am
what’s not to like about THIS?
August 27th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I detest the words porn and romantic, because they imply a single facet while ignoring the rest of the whole. This is an articulate account of a thinking woman’s relationship.
August 27th, 2008 at 10:54 am
do you think of him as “slopey nose”? if so, kick ass
August 27th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Ohhhh, it’s the best love letter EVER.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Unfortunately, I can’t get the entire page to load…but I am thinking hubba hubba…and Damn it! Why won’t this load!?!?!
August 27th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
it can’t always be that deliciously hot, but…it can be that good.
August 27th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
“inappropriate glasses”
This phrase is perfect for the scene!
August 27th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
LOL @ Blog Antagonist… love it. Red leather, wine & kisses? What’s not to love?
August 27th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
This is beautiful, all of it. Evokes such strong emotions and memories for many of us. So very glad you did not listen to those negative, inner voices and made the sweet, perfect choice that you did.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
*sigh* …
August 27th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Made my heart smile
August 27th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
I thought we weren’t talking about this!
August 28th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Hot Damn! Yowza and …exquisitely SEXY.
August 28th, 2008 at 2:41 am
Mmm.. I loved this thought “lingering of lovers”… very well written!
August 28th, 2008 at 2:57 am
As an expert in this genre (I am a reading whore, and I readily admit it) this is some really great, great writing. It just flows beautifully, and I would love to read more.
now, where’s that hubby of mine? He’s gettin’ lucky tonight.
August 28th, 2008 at 6:12 am
Yeee-OW!
August 28th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Kisses until you lost your breath? Yeah, that’s what I am missing. Love this.
August 28th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Beautful Flutter – I love it when you write about the Boy – such passion!
August 28th, 2008 at 10:10 am
*shiver*
August 28th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Its been along long time since I felt that way. it makes me ache a bit.
what is NC17?
August 28th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Day-UM! *runs off to take a cold shower*
August 28th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I had to open a window…it suddenly felt really close in here.
I’m glad you found each other.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Whew! Hubba-hubba.
Ya, what’s NC-17?
August 28th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Love this post, flutter.
August 29th, 2008 at 8:07 am
hey! you write it just how it is.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Awesome!!!! :-p
August 30th, 2008 at 7:52 am
As always, great. And hot. And spicy. And completely vulnerable. And invincible in admitting it.
We’re never good enough. But hopefully, we just bask in the glow that we “are”. And that we try. And those reasons alone, make us good enough.
August 31st, 2008 at 3:34 am
Beautiful. Your writing and your relationship!
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Now that is just yummy! Mmmmmm.
September 7th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Absolutely Stunning.