I don’t really know
Haven’t we all thought this?
Do I have what it takes to write this? What do I write, what do I leave out? What do I expose, what do I protect? I am at a bit of an impasse, where my heart is so open and so raw that I question my ability to write there and here and to live simultaneously.
I just really don’t know.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I think it’s hard to put yourself out there, or here, you know what I mean. Do it if you can, so many people are helped, healed by your words, your story. We’re transfixed by your voice and entranced by your words.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I’m not working on a book like you, but this does happen to me when I’m in the middle of an article with particularly intense subject matter; I withdraw.
If your blood and guts are needed elsewhere, blogworld will understand.
If you are feeling especially vulnerable or overwrought, blogworld will understand.
This space is yours.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I say just keep writing what feels true to you. In the end, you can edit. In the end, you don’t even have to try and get it published. It’s your story so you get to choose what happens with it.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
It’s such a fine line, the walk between how much of yourself and others you expose in your writing, and how much you hold back. I can understand worrying about both how others may be affected if you cross that line, and conversely, how your writing will be affected if you don’t. I think ultimately you have to write whatever it is inside you that needs to be expressed. Whether you do it here, in your book, or privately, you know we will all be here to support you.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
you have done so much lately – put so much out there. maybe you just need to breath for a few days.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
I recently started writing about some personal heavy shit and asked a similar question. Not knowing how much to reveal or expose; real names and places, while trying to get into the groove. I decided to write off line and use real names and places, for now. It’s easier to flow that way, and the names can be changed later.
That’s my two cents!
August 28th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
write now, edit later. you can always subtract, but you may not be able to get the flow quite right again to add.
August 28th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Yeah, I would say write it all out (not here, necessarily) and then get a good editor to spiff it up later.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I don’t know either. But I would say the best thing to do is what everyone before me has suggested: put it all out there, and edit it later.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
babe, you and I are SO in the same boat. and it’s sinking.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
We’ve all thought that. I think that’s why I prefer to write fiction. I don’t have to open up so much of myself.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I hate to say this, but i’ve never thought that. Maybe if i have the ambition someday to actually write a book, i might.
If you aren’t sure, write it and then set it aside for a while. Clarity comes more easily at a distance.
<3
August 28th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Write it all. Take stuff out later. WRITE IT ALL! Don’t worry about order or clarity — just write it. If you have to, make every single blog post a part of it.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
always these questions.
you will know. sometimes until not after you have decided. but it will be ok.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
We HAVE all thought this. I think you have to really think about why you started blogging in the first place and then decide if you’re staying true to the “WHY”. If your purpose was to have an emotional outlet, let it all out. If it was other than that, you have to decide whether you’re willing to be brave enough to risk readership or perfection of image. It’s scary to be vulnerable, isn’t it? I’m not quite there, but I’m trying. Remember, you always have the Backspace key. Go with your gut.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I have to second what Maggie, Dammit said.
August 28th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Well, I do think you have what it takes. Maybe step away from it for a little while and come back, see what feels right and what doesn’t? Also, as Janet said, there is always editing and editing is a good thing.
August 28th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
when you figure it out, we’ll be here to read it.
(well, you know, I may be evacuated, but I’ll be around….)
August 28th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Write it ALL; write till it bleeds off the pages. Edit after. No one has to see.
August 28th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Pare said EXACTLY what I was going to say.
August 28th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I feel ya. Of course you are writing a BOOK and I’m just futzing with a dumb ole blog. But I agree with everyone else, bleed it out and edit later.
August 28th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I guess it depends upon your goal.
Which is more important, healing and being true to yourself, or good copy? Regardless of the answer, I doubt many of us would pass judgement. We all need different things to grow as people and as artists. I will support you and stand beside you no matter which path you choose.
August 28th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
You put yourself out there more than any other blogger I read. I have often wondered how you do it. And, as everyone else has expressed, if you decide you can not do it anymore I would understand. I hope you find the balance that’s best for you.
August 28th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Emily’s idea is great. Sometimes it helps to tell yourself you can go back and edit it out.
August 29th, 2008 at 12:45 am
I agree with Emily and the others. Write everything. As hard as it is, get it all out. Take care of yourself in every other way you can (get enough sleep, eat well) so that you don’t run yourself into the ground. But write it all.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:00 am
I write it, and I save it. And a little later, I make the decision whether to share it or not – for these very reasons. Some things in my life right now are crushing like a weight – but I don’t want to hurt my family any more than they are already hurting by writing about my hurt for what we are all going through together (my agind grandmother). It sucks. I wrote a few pages and shared them w/my cousin (who is like a sis), but can’t post on my blog about it because my Aunts read it and then they print it up and bring it to my grandma in the rehab facility where she is recovering and it would hurt her so much to read about my stupid pain.
So sorry about the novel here – I should have just said ‘I get it.’
August 29th, 2008 at 1:01 am
aging, not agind – I don’t even think that is a word.
August 29th, 2008 at 3:59 am
Three words. USE FAKE NAMES. The internet is a small place. People can google real names and even get a map right to your door. I used our real names and, at one point, had the state police calling me about my blog. Long story. There is no anonymity and well after issues are resolved, they will haunt you from your blog. Fake it out, it’s the safest. And don’t list your location either. Fake that, too.
August 29th, 2008 at 5:28 am
I think Maggie dammit gave you great advice. That book is your baby now, we are here to support you while you figure out to do with it. I say put everything you have in there, babygirl.
August 29th, 2008 at 6:58 am
if you haven’t done it yet, go buy a copy of “the situation and the story” by vivian gornick. it will help
August 29th, 2008 at 6:58 am
[...] is waiting for news and rambling. Christine is struggling as she waits for the call. And Martin is enduring the worst kind of waiting [...]
August 29th, 2008 at 7:01 am
make sure you have one scene in the book involving a stinger missile taking out a Russian helicopter, that’s what the writers of the Rambo movies would do.
August 29th, 2008 at 7:08 am
If you can put it out there you should. I can’t because it would hurt people. I’ve thought of the secret blog thing, but, when would I do that? Living in a house with people around all the time, some of whom I would be writing about.
I do know – I won’t be putting it out there. My blog is all funsies, and it really helps me to stay positive. But I’ve been wondering if I need my shrink back!
August 29th, 2008 at 7:33 am
I sometimes write and then draft it, keep it there for just my eyes. Letting time decide whether it should be published or not.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:19 am
if the act of writing helps, do that. no one needs to see it when you write it, if ever. Your heart & your health are what is important. Your LIFE needs to be lived. If writing helps your life, write. If it hurts, take a break. Turn to the boy.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Me too, but you knew that.
August 29th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Do what you need to do for YOU. (butpleasedon’tleaveusforever)
August 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Is this “Let’s talk about heavy shit” day? Because if it is, I better get crackin’. I just don’t want
to open those gates, they are damn hard to close.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
what’s to know? (in my best jewish accent) Its best to do. Writing explains itself as its written. Or that is my understanding of it. Tomorrow is just another day of decisions. Today, this is your therapy. Let it be that.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
what’s to know? (in my best jewish accent) Its best to do. Writing explains itself as its written. Or that is my understanding of it. Tomorrow is just another day of decisions. Today, this is your therapy. Let it be that.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
you’ll know. just keep going, and you’ll know.
August 29th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Keep living where you are…just visit the past occasionally. I have every confidence you’ll know exactly what to write!
August 30th, 2008 at 7:04 am
I agree with what Maggie said in the first few comments. If you can’t do both, write the book and screw the blog for the time being. It’s what I would do.
August 30th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Yes. At least, I’VE thought this. EVERYDAY. But, I would encourage you to not think, just do. And you will.
August 30th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I have felt that often on my blog! Good luck!
August 31st, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I hear you on this one! These very thoughts have paralyzed my writing of my own book! I need to get over it!
Write it all. Edit later! I agree with this advice that so many have given you. I will take it myself!
; )
September 1st, 2008 at 9:37 am
I don’t even know how to comment the love I feel for you in my heart when I read this.
And I am praying for your family*