Into the sleeping (alleged) mind of flutter
In the throes of twilight, I walk along the banks of a lapping river. Blackest water flows over large rocks and the ancient system of tree roots. The moon glows, otherworldly as it is, bright and silver.
It slices the inky sky and rests upon a woman, laying on the bank of the river, fingers trailing in the water. She lay facing the sky, as if in an unconscious prayer for kind weather. She is open and ungaurded and seems to cling to the faltering side of awake. Her eyes are closed, her pink dress in tatters.
I walk to her and as I come closer the moon’s light seems harsh on her face. It is a system of fine lines, especially at her brow. She looks upset and tired. Darkness spreads, bruiselike under her eyes. the hand trailing in the river bears a thin gold band. Someone loves her. Looking at the fierceness of her face and back to the band I wonder what life she’s lead to make her look this way, to make her be alone here, at night.
Although if not for her, I would be alone, as well.
I step in the light shine of the moon and block out the silvery cascade. My shadow covers her face and the years melt from her face. Darkness is kind to her. I can see how she must have looked when he slipped that ring of gold on her finger. I can see how her beauty would have captivated him. I can see how she would look to him, tousled in sleep warm in her own bed. Not with her hair matted with grass and her fingers turning blue in the black water.
How did she get here?
I woke up from this in tears, and it’s become my newest recurring dream. Ugh, does even sleep need to be difficult?
September 1st, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Oh, wow. Wow. That’s creepy.
September 1st, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Wow, yukky dream. But lovely writing.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:09 am
Its sad but so beautiful at the same time. Curious that she looks so much younger when your shadow falls on her, blocking the moonlight. And her connection with another through the ring.
Her message to you carries much power.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:04 am
what’s wrong with my mind that i don’t think this dream is necessarily bad or creepy, just very melancholy and beautiful simultaneously…
although as a recurring dream, i can see how it would be incredibly heavy to bear that more than once.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:04 am
i actually think the dream is beautiful. but i know all too well how a dream that seems lovely or innocuous can be an emotional shipwreck all the same. somewhere deep inside yourself this dream has meaning for you. some dream interpreters would tell you that the woman you saw is a representation of yourself. the form she took is supposed to tell you what emotional crux your mind is trying to get to. this is what some would say.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:27 am
This was so beautifully written, but all I can think is, Carl Jung would have a field day with this. There are so many archetypal symbols to dig into. Dreams are such a great peek into the bugaboo of our subconcious. Have you ever read any of his (Jung) ideas on dream analysis? Would you like to? I could send you a book. (Yes, this is the psych major in me coming out
.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:53 am
Yeah, why does life have to be so bizarre when we’re at our weakest . . .
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:18 am
I know all about recurring dreams. You recount this one well. I wonder what it means.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:24 am
I know there’s nights I wish I didn’t dream. I hope sleep comes for you soon.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:29 am
What a dream. It must be hard to have such a creative mind, Flutter, because even when you sleep, it doesn’t turn itself off.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:44 am
It sounds like she wants to be written about….
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 am
It sounds like an interesting dream, but I understand your frustration. It sucks when all you want is to sleep and your brain thrusts this stuff on you.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:22 am
Wow. This is beautiful…in a dark and painful sort of way. It would be hard to recover from it after waking.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:45 am
I would have awoken in tears, too. But you put it in to words so well…
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:35 am
haunting
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Apparently so. I just read my “horror-scope” for the month…everyone will be having very very vivid dreams…and I will either end up pregnant, engaged, single or deeply in love…or any of those combinations or none at all…I should NOT have read my horoscope for the month…It almost made me cry.
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Oof. What does my husband the therapist say?
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Dark dream, but very beautiful writing! I hope this one leaves you alone for awhile; maybe the act of writing it down will help keep it at bay.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I can never manage to describe dreams, but you have done it well enough so thati can see it too.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
For all its sorrow, that wisp of gold ’round her finger makes me feel like she was not alone, she had something to cling to…maybe this is your gift, a reminder that love, the right kind of love, will last beyond life.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:57 pm
oh flutter,I am so sorry.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:11 pm
What a dream, flutter–I’m sorry about its haunting melancholy. And as someone else said, you do such an amazing job describing it.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:36 pm
I wish it weren’t so Flutter. The dreams? Dark. The writing? SO Eloquent.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:31 pm
But she is loved. Perhaps she is a piece of you?
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Go here,
http://eve3.wordpress.com/
she’s just written an interesting article on dreams. The one thing she said that stuck in my mind when I asked her about one of my own dreams was that dreams are all about us, the dreamer. Everything in the dream is about us.
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:45 am
that was hauntingly beautiful. you DO know that you rock, right?
September 3rd, 2008 at 6:36 am
Flutter: when next you wake up from this dream. What would you do? In other words, would you help her in some way? Reposition her for her comfort or yours? Walk away… just think about what you would like to do and give the scene a conclusion. As it is, your vision is truncated. You set a tableau in your head that obviously frightens you enough to make you cry but there is no action on your part. Change from observer to actor even if awake and see where that takes you. How you finish the dream might help you to finish it off for real. I hope that helps. I know that when I’ve tried this exercise, it has helped me.
What a surreal scene you pain Flutter. For all its strangeness, it is quite beautiful.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:16 am
I’m sorry – that would freak me out. You describe it well, but I don’t think it is a dream I would enjoy having again and again.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:25 am
For some reason, she isn’t creepy to me – she’s more dreamlike, melancholic, ethereal – and carrying messages for you – and to you.
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Oh, and there’s about twenty ways to read the symbolism of her. I do agree with what Ann commented–that she is intriguing, maybe in need of solace, but she doesn’t scare me.
One thought, too: because someone is wearing a wedding ring doesn’t mean she is loved.
Just something that popped to mind.
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
and must even your dreams be so damn beautiful?
anyhow, I always search for meaning in my sleepscape. I wonder if she is the old and tired in you?
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Oh, Flutter, so many images in this dream are beautiful. The woman in the dream may just need some solitude, near water, to ponder after all she has been through, how loved she is now. You are loved so deeply and there is such a thing as unconditional love and happily ever after. Trust in yourself and the love that is there.
September 3rd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Wow. I read a really good book about dream interpretation once. It such a long time ago so I can’t give you any info :O)
But all those images :the moon, water, darkness, a woman, a gold band, shadows. Damn what an interesting dream.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:11 am
The lady in your dream is a part of you, because you are the puppetmaster of what happens in your dreams, so the question is: what part of you does she represents? Add to that what happens – why do you stand over her, and why does it make her younger? Why is she married yet alone? Why is she in pink and why is it tattered? What is the symbolism of the water and why are her fingers trailing in it?
I could tell you what I think it means, but it’s more important that you are able to intuit the symbolism of this dream, because it’s loaded with symbols that reverberate.
Did you tell the shrink man about this dream? I bet he would be very interested to hear it, if he’s worth his Jungian salt, which I’m sure he is!
September 4th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Crap. I wish it was a movie. Just that twisted, sister.
September 5th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Hmmmmm. Beautifully written, Dear Lady; but I’m not too good with dream interpretation, so don’t have a good idea of what it all means. I wish I had even some of your talent for describing your dreams so eloquently, even if it might be a little bit scary.