We’re all crazy
We’re all fucked up, let’s just be honest.
No one has all of their ducks in a row. No one is completely accurate about everything. No one is reasonable all of the time. Some of us aren’t reasonable, EVER..but that is beside the point.
We all bring our own special, personal brand of whackadoo to any given situation. What is unacceptable to you, may be commonplace to another. What one sees as inexcusable and rude may simply be a difference in culture. Or maybe you really are an asshole. Something to consider. But the fact of the matter, is that none of us have the distinction of being the only human alive to never make a mistake.
Varying shades of gray, some good with dark spots of evil. Some evil with bright spots of good. Most of us converge in the middle. We’ve all known a giving, caring, loving, selfish, douchebag, asswipe. We contradict ourselves throughout our lives. We change and adapt and stumble and dance. We are saints and sinners. We are the givers and takers. At any time, in any fashion we ebb. It takes conscious and consistent effort to take what is natural to us and turn the tide.
It takes even more for us to reverse our cranial-rectal inversion and to even realize…to even say that we are as much good as bad. That we are as much users as victims. To temper it. To make decisions to be awake and aware of that fact nearly every decision we make has an impact. To be mindful of our words, our thoughts, our actions. To at once, be outside of ourselves, but be completely self aware.
If we can, at all, give a small thought to the pain that people carry. Like loose change in their pockets. Pain that only jingles when you are trying to walk quietly. Pain that weighs more heavily on one side and smells like copper and sweat from your palms. To know that everyone has a betrayal, a devastation, a handicap.
To know that we’re all crazy.
December 10th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
yep. Truer words were never written. I just try and be the highest percentage of non-assholicness that i can manage at the time. Sometimes it works. Other times, not so much.
December 10th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Well said. Like many, I lack self-awareness. I do know that some days are better than others.
Thanks for saying what I was thinking.
December 10th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
High points:
“Or maybe you really are an asshole. Something to consider.”
” Like loose change in their pockets. Pain that only jingles when you are trying to walk quietly.”
Outstanding. Truly.
December 10th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
You got this exactly right! I agree with you 100%. Your writing cuts right to the heart and truth of the matter. XXXXX
December 10th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
We are guilty. And we are innocent. Or maybe we are just alive . . .
December 10th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
you’ve outdone yourself with this one.
December 10th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Total cosign
December 10th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Sometimes asshole or saint is just a matter of perception, of ourselves more than each other. I think it is easier for some, me included, to say I hate “them, him, her” rather than I hate myself.
This is a powerful message. Thanks for writing it.
December 10th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
i needed this just now. thank you.
December 10th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
I actually am working on an article that talks about this very point.
December 10th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Whackadoo.
Yup.
December 10th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
This is one reason I have such a positive attitude. I know that I’m fucked up, but I know I’ll never be the MOST fucked up. And if I look to the left, and look to the right, what do I see? Fucked up. I’m in GOOD company!
December 10th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Oh, truer words could not be spoken.
I most definitely wade in the middle. You have the best view from there . . .
December 11th, 2008 at 4:42 am
I’ve been saying for YEARS that we are all fucked up. If only the powers that be would let us in on that little secret when we are younger, we would all be more well-adjusted. STILL fucked-up, but more well-adjusted.
December 11th, 2008 at 5:04 am
lady, i’m saving this, so i have a respite when i’m in my crazy mode, knowing i’m not alone.
you know how to say it like it is. xoxo
December 11th, 2008 at 6:47 am
Who you callin’ crazey?
December 11th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Flutter, you are officially QUEEN OF THE UTTER TRUTH! FAn fargin tastical!
What the hell else is there to say? You freaken nailed it!
Can I just put down a bunch of these?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit.
“We’ve all known a giving, caring, loving, selfish, douchebag, asswipe.” HA!
December 11th, 2008 at 7:50 am
Yup, that sums it up.
Those percentages are hard to measure, constantly in flux, as the wind shifts.
December 11th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Asswipe is my favorite word of all time. I wonder what that says about me. Well, no, actually I don’t. I much prefer to peacefully exist in my cloak of obliviousness.
December 11th, 2008 at 8:07 am
I’m not.
December 11th, 2008 at 8:12 am
I know it may be a bit cliché, but we are only happy and able to accept everyone else when we are content to know ourselves–to know ourselves and accept us as us. Every experience in our lives defines us and we must not disregard anything for when we attempt to do so, we undo who we have become.
Loose-change pain. Yup.
December 11th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Don’t I know it. And the older I get, the more I realise that everyone around me is floundering, too. Everyone else feels like they don’t really know what they’re expected to and we all just end up trying to convince each other (and ourselves) that we do.
December 11th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Oh yes, to quote the Mad Hatter, “We’re all mad here…”
I remember the first time I actually realized that we are all having our own struggles. I remember saying, “wait a minute. EVERYONE has something going on…and no one’s talking about it. Harumph!”
December 11th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Well thanks… I feel better knowing I’m not the only crazy asshole out there.
December 11th, 2008 at 9:12 am
You said it sister.
December 11th, 2008 at 9:41 am
“Whackadoo.” My new favourite word. I think this may also be my fave post of yours ever. Wise words, well put.
December 11th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Frequent conversation at our house:
Him – “That dude is weird.”
Me – “Yep.”
Him – “Do you think people think we’re weird?”
Me – “Yep.”
December 11th, 2008 at 11:18 am
You are so right. We’re all nuts.
December 11th, 2008 at 11:27 am
I couldn’t agree more. Everyone has their pain and their burdens – that’s what makes us human. To quote the oldest, but truest, cliche ever – “Everybody has a story that could break your heart.”
December 11th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
A-men sister. We’re all nucking futs with me first in line.
December 11th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Would we have it any other way, really? Perfection is pretty boring. And usually the assholiest of the dumbasses are the people who aren’t doing what *I* want.
December 11th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I’ve been knowing this for a WHILE! Thank goodness Mr. Mayhem loves my crazy ass…because I am not sure anyone else would!
December 11th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I’ve been knowing this for a WHILE! Thank goodness Mr. Mayhem loves my crazy ass…because I am not sure anyone else would!
December 11th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Whoops….hit submit twice…..just a tad obsessive and impatient!
December 11th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
A-men. A big one.
December 11th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Amen sister!! Very well said – We all F*ck up that is for sure that is just called being human. The one thing that most do not do is own it. If you own it life is so much better. Craziness is just part of our DNA..
December 11th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
This reminds me of a little conversation I had with a friend recently.
Love this. And the loose change? A genius detail.
December 11th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
True true words. A little compassion for what others might carry with them makes all the difference.
December 11th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Amen to that sister.
December 11th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Amazing post! I was led here by Google Reader and I love your blog!
This part especially made me crack up: “We all bring our own special, personal brand of whackadoo to any given situation. “
December 11th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can say with all certainty that I am a totally lovable hate-able giving taking happy sad douchebag sweetheart.
December 11th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
This is so much of what life’s about, yeah? Beautiful.
December 11th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Completely and utterly well said. I should print this out and put it on my fridge for those times that I’m feeling all high, mighty and self-righteous. I never feel sane, so no worries on that one.
December 11th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
I have been thinking of this same thing lately. You speak it well.
December 11th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Oh…like loose change in my pocket. Yes. Ma’am. Loved this!
December 11th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
yup, Isn’t so much of this blogisphere a tribute to the fellowship of fuckedupedness?
People who don’t admit their own disfunctions are suspect.
December 12th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Totally agree with you!!! I know I’m fucked up! LOL And the FIRST to admit it!! I am your average everyday loving,caring, warm, mean spirited, bitch! lol and I love it! Oh yea … and to some of my blogging friends I’m the grinch rencarnated!
December 12th, 2008 at 8:24 am
AMEN.
December 12th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
How comforting. What a good reminder.
BTW I ALMOST bought a little pink tree because I couldn’t find a green one. There were only 3 kinds: white, pink, and black. I did end up with a little green one but now that I’v seen yours, I totally regret not buying that pink tree. damn! It wasn’t as cute as yours anyway.
December 12th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
yes, yes, yes. we all are broken in our way. but broken isis good. it is human.
December 12th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Yeah, there’s something reassuring in knowing that you’re not alone. Why does Xmas bring it out worse than other times of year, do you reckon?
December 12th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
How weird – I JUST blogged about my special brand o’crazy on my blog, then I found you from ZJ. **Twilight Zone**
AND you like Twilight. Oh, Mama. I loves you already.
December 12th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
“We’re all fucked up, let’s just be honest.”
No truer words have ever been spoken/written.
The thing is, some of us are just more fucked up than others and some of us are just more honest about it.
December 12th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Well said. It’s remembering the ‘humane’ in humanity.
Best wishes
December 13th, 2008 at 10:26 am
’tis true. it’s what makes the human experience so intriguing. and, sometimes, so really effing hard to navigate.
December 13th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
It’s life and what makes me so wary of people who present themselves as the perfect something…whether it be spouse, or mother or attorney or pet owner or whatever. I can only really get down with people who have enough clarity to step back from themselves every once and awhile and claim a flaw. Those people I get. Those who pretend otherwise are fooling only themselves. And the fact that you recognize this is why I like you so much.
December 13th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
You know you are a genius right? I love being here.
December 14th, 2008 at 6:25 am
I so needed to hear exactly that, exactly now. Thanks, sistergirl.
December 14th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
And insecure. And more loved than we could ever know.
December 14th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
“We’ve all known a giving, caring, loving, selfish, douchebag, asswipe.”
Yes! That describes some of my closest friends. And me.
That was just fabulous. An altogether brilliant post. Plus I love your use of the word whackadoo.
December 14th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Damn! Best post I’ve read in ages. I found you via a Shared Post in Google Reader.
I will probably blockquote and link this in a post of my own soon, because it is so relevant to much of what I’m feeling right now.
Thank you so much for putting into words so much truth in such concise brilliance!
December 15th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
this is so right on.
“We’ve all known a giving, caring, loving, selfish, douchebag, asswipe. We contradict ourselves throughout our lives. We change and adapt and stumble and dance.”
December 16th, 2008 at 9:23 am
“We change and adapt and stumble and dance.”
I love you.
December 22nd, 2008 at 11:25 am
afreakingmen. the more the merrier i say.