On patience being worn VERY THIN
Lady Holding Pants That Are Too Small For Her: I really like these, but I can’t get them up over my butt, can you get them one size bigger?
Me: No, I’m sorry they only make them up to 32, which is the size you have.
LHPTATSFR: Right, but can you order the next size up for me?
Me: No, I’m sorry. They only make them up to 32, which is the size you have.
LHPTATSFR: Well, these don’t fit.
Me: We have a few other sizes available in another department, that I’d be happy to show you.
LHPTATSFR: But I like these, I just need them in the next size up.
Me: There is no next size up.
LHPTATSFR: There HAS to be. Can you check?
Me: Theoretically, there are bigger pants available. However, in this designer, you are holding the biggest size they make. It’s not a matter of not carrying their bigger size. They don’t make a bigger size.
LHPTATSFR: But I want the next size up.
Me: There is no next size up.
LHPTATSFR: But I want these.
Me: Well, you could buy those but you would not be able to wear them
LHPTATSFR: Can’t we order the next size up?
Me: No.
LHPTATSFR: Really?
Me: If we could, I totally would, just for you.
LHPTATSFR: I really want the next size up.
Me: We’ve established that.
LHPTATSFR: *sigh* I thought this store was known for service.
Me: *blink*
[/end scene]
December 20th, 2008 at 4:32 am
dude, you are a saint to put up with that shit. me? i’d have gone all joe pesce on her, (you know in my cousin vinny, when he clocks that dude in a flying jump? that’s what i’m talkin’ about), and then been fired but it would have been worth it because really? how many times do you have to say nicely THEY DON’T HAVE YOUR FREAKING SIZE !?!
and if that lady thinks that you weren’t offering the BEST kind of customer service, than she should go over to macy’s or bloomingdale’s, see what crap customer service is REALLY like.
ok, i’m done.
love you. xo
December 20th, 2008 at 5:07 am
OMFG. You poor thing.
December 20th, 2008 at 5:21 am
Oh Sweetie, you have earned your wings. That would put me right over the edge!
XOXOXOX
December 20th, 2008 at 6:20 am
we all like to think there are not incredibly stupid people out there. sadly, we are wrong.
December 20th, 2008 at 7:05 am
But I really, really, really want THESE pants in a larger size. Please?
You and your “Theoretically, there are bigger pants available.” You crack me up!
Ah, the joys of working retail during the holidays…
December 20th, 2008 at 7:50 am
Ick.
I’d have started bitching with her about what the fuck was wrong with the designer who only makes pants up to size 32. What kind of bastard is such a size-ist?
Jewels in your crown, Flutter. Jewels in your crown.
December 20th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Good lord. I adore it when women take clothes into the dressing room that are obviously 2 or 3 sizes TOO SMALL (because they wouldn’t fit ME, and I’m actually smaller than they are) and then walk out with a pile, drop them and say, “nothing fit” and act all shocked, surprised and sad. No kidding, really? How strange…
I want to say to them, “It must be very frustrating to NEVER find clothes that fit you, you may have more success if you try on things that are YOUR SIZE…just a suggestion.”
December 20th, 2008 at 8:48 am
I recently walked into The Gap the other day and the 12-year-old sales boy if they had a particular pair of jeans in a size 14. He said, we don’t carry 14 in the store. You have to get that online. And I burst into tears and ran out the door. No, not really, but nearly. But I digress. This story has nothing to do with anything except my own personal weight angst.
That lady, was an idiot. And I’m sorry you were the unfortunate person who had to deal with her. I hope there is a nice bottle of wine in your stocking this year.
December 20th, 2008 at 8:51 am
yeah. customer service.
the bulk of my work experience consists of either waiting tables or slinging coffee.
in a similar vein, i had this interaction:
them: i would like a cappuccino
me: single or double?
them: a C-A-P-P-U-C-C-I-N-O
me: (smiling) right. would you like one shot of espresso or two?
after making said drink and handing it to them:
them: there is no milk in here.
me: i’m sorry, you wanted a cappuccino, right?
them: yes. where is the milk?
*this is where i remember that most coffee chains do not make coffee drinks properly and that i used to not know the difference myself until working in an independent coffeehouse…so i do not pass judgement on people confused by coffee lingo*
me: (with a smile) a cappuccino is espresso with a tiny bit of milk and lots of foam. a latte is filled with milk and topped with foam. would you like a latte instead?
them: no, i want a cappuccino. but i want milk.
me: okay. do you want me to add some hot milk to your cappuccino?
*here i explain that if they order a ‘wet cappuccino’ they will get it filled with more milk. that way they will get the drink they want. and, again, i’m NICE about it.*
them: i don’t need an explanation, just fill it with milk.
me: (taking the drink, filling it with milk and smiling as i hand it back to them)
have a wonderful day, sir. enjoy your latte.
December 20th, 2008 at 9:22 am
OY.
December 20th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Hey, can your order me a pair of those pants, too. Except mine need to be 3 sizes larger. Thanks.
December 20th, 2008 at 9:28 am
And she’s still alive? Oh my oh my.
December 20th, 2008 at 9:31 am
“They don’t read, they don’t listen, and they don’t care”. Just remember that, and you’ll get through the day.
December 20th, 2008 at 9:33 am
I’ve only recently found you, so glad I did.
You are to be congratulated for your restraint! Stupid people: Doesn’t it just make you wonder how she has managed to survive in life thus far?
December 20th, 2008 at 9:49 am
You should have just gotten another pair of the 32 and said here you go.
Ah customer service.
December 20th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Good Lord, you gave her more customer service than any other person would have! I don’t know where the disconnect was between you telling her 58.97 times that they did not make a bigger size and her brain actually getting it.
December 20th, 2008 at 10:11 am
I’d have been fired.
December 20th, 2008 at 10:51 am
I know I shouldn’t be laughing, but I am.
December 20th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Ah, retail.. how I miss it. Not.
You’re a saint for not giving in to the urge to jam the pants over her head and beat her with her own pocketbook.
December 20th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Jesus. I would have strangled her with those pants.
December 20th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
but there HAS to be a size up flutter
there just HAS to be
and in theory. she is correct.
wow. I hope you don’t get fired when she complains about how unhelpful you were.
I second Jess.
December 20th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Oh, dear. You deserve a pants badge of honor for you patience.
December 20th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
oh sweet jesus I am laughing, laughing, laughing. And I would be laughing even HARDER if MY ass wasn’t so big.
December 20th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
omfg. what is it with people like this and why do they insist on shopping in person. Get the internet dudes and then we never have to meet you!!!
I have my version of this. I work in recruitment:
Them: I’m looking for a job.
Me: OK, sir. What kind of work are you looking for?
Them: Anything.
Me: OK.. anything in particular?
Them: Anything.
Me: OK… office? factory? Warehouse? Industrial? Secretarial? PA? Accountant? Brain surgeon? Fighter Pilot? Refuse collector?
Them: Anything.. I’ll do anything.
*sigh*
Me: OK – it would really help me if you could tell me what *kind* of work you’re looking for. Then I’ll know who to put you through to.
Them: Look lady, I’ll do anything. I just need money.
Me: OK.. Temporary or permanent.
Them: Full time.
Me: *bangs head on desk* We post all of our vacancies on our website sir, let me give you the address…
December 20th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Perhaps you should have produced some imaginary pants. Some people are just…blank.
December 20th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Clearly, she’s spent too much time reading the Travelling Pants books. No, Virginia, one pair of pants cannot fit four different sized women. Nice try though.
December 20th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Crap. I remember that except at the bookstore there was a book – that doesn’t exist or isn’t in print BUT SHOULD BE says the customer, with a humph. I have *kindly* said, after this nonstarter of a conversation lingers, that maybe this is a sign to write said book.
I mean this. I’m trying to be nice and helpful.
But when they sneer at me, I secretly want to whack them on the head for being such a moron.
So sorry.
December 20th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Siiiiiiiiiiiigh. People!
December 20th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
There is a reason I could never work retail. One on one with people I’m fine, when they get into that pushy I know better than you, your paid to wait on me mode… Forget it! Like Kristin said I would of been all Cousin Vinny on her literally. What part of they don’t have your size didn’t you understand. You could go ahead and buy those pants to give you some motivation to lose weight to fit into them…I tend to wield words expertly like a weapon when I’m pissed off.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with bigger people. I do however have a problem when they react as if it’s your fault that can’t fit into a certain size.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you dear one. (Hugs)Indigo
December 20th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Oh God, girlfriend, I have so been there. Only a few more days of the madness.
December 20th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I don’t know if I could keep a straight face during that. You are earning your wings my dear, totally.
December 20th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
REDRUMMMMMMMM
December 20th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
You were grace itself, dear Flutter!
December 20th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Oh, more work-related dialogue, please. I enjoyed this immensely.
I know she was exasperating and all, but I still find something sweet in her. I mean, she liked the pants just that very much–to the exclusion of any real thoughts. I sometimes like chocolate in similar fashion.
December 21st, 2008 at 9:07 am
I don’t think I am exaggerating when I say that I would have had a fit, a literal fit. Ha ha, fit, get it, fit? I. Am. A. Dork. You, are a saint.
December 21st, 2008 at 10:52 am
How? How did you not kill her?
You, my dear, have a great deal more patience than I!
December 21st, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I’m still laughing about that idiot.
December 21st, 2008 at 1:40 pm
It sounds like you were waiting on my husband. I’m so so sorry.
December 21st, 2008 at 2:32 pm
People constantly amaze me. Fortunately stupid isn’t contagious:)
December 21st, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I know all about earning my wings Flutter, and you certainly earned yours!
I think congradulations are in order!
December 21st, 2008 at 4:17 pm
You are now more than qualified to take over the care of my children should I ever be hospitalized on an emergency, or purely recreational and restorative, basis.
December 21st, 2008 at 7:44 pm
HILARIOUS. You know, if you don’t have to live through it.
December 21st, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Hilarious! But I’m also sorry you have to deal with — you know — people.
December 21st, 2008 at 10:55 pm
what you really need, lady, is to learn to LISTEN
December 22nd, 2008 at 4:10 am
Grrrrrrrr. Hahahahahahahaha. Grrhahgra
December 22nd, 2008 at 8:39 am
My GOD I don’t know how you do it.
December 22nd, 2008 at 9:44 am
Bazooka-time!!!!
December 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 am
i’ll take a shelter any day of the week over this. as bad as it gets, it’s not as bad as this.
you are a saint. Flutter, the Saint of Retail.
December 22nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I totally sympathize with you. I have worked in retail and you get some ditzes that just don’t get it no matter how nicely you tell them. The lady was just plain stupid. You my dear are a saint.
December 22nd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
have you not found those pants for her yet? where is our update????!?!
December 22nd, 2008 at 6:49 pm
OH I’ve so been there, my friend. I used to work in a clothing store and good lord the kind of stuff you have to deal with. Now that the Holidays are here, it’s even worse…..
Just breathe.
December 22nd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Oy! I worked in a shoe store once… an outlet.. so our prices were already marked down and most of our inventory was 2-3 season’s old. Unless something was a really popular style.
Customer: Can you give me the sale price on these sandals?
Me: No, they’re not on sale at the moment
Customer: But you know they WILL go on sale
Me: Actually no, I don’t know that. We get told by corporate about 3 days before something goes on sale and this style is not scheduled to be on sale
Customer: But you know at some point they will be right?
Me: No, I’m sorry, I really don’t. My manager is just over there if you’d like to speak with her about it
December 23rd, 2008 at 3:29 am
Thank you for the reminder as to why I no longer work in customer service.
December 23rd, 2008 at 6:35 am
Laughing uproariously!
This says so many things other than the fact that your day is long and hard. Other than the fact that people can be idiots. Other than the fact that 32 is the biggest size? (WTF!)
This: we are so used to getting what we want, being entitled to get it. What the fuck, lady? What if society totally broke down? What if there was no clean drinking water, not enough food, your child was sick and there was no doctor, what if you had no heating in your house and you lived in the north and you were cold all the time, bone fucking cold? What then? Would you expect superiour service then? Would you expect a size 34? You wouldn’t have to – you’d be bone fricken thin starving to death and your ass would have disappeared.
What’s wrong with us that we demand of our world size 34 when all there is is a 32? We need to slap ourselves awake, go to the Thrift Store and fashion a dress from a flour bag and be thankful for the girth of our ass!
That was superior service!
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:08 am
Christine,
I didn’t know your man is flipping houses. Since I’m in the beginning stages, I’d be interested
to see one or all of his properties to get some ideas. Would he mind?
Thanks, Cory corybahr@qwest.net
December 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 am
You are a much more patient woman than I am. I would have just told her to go on a liquid diet for a month or so and then come back for the pants…otherwise, STFU! *lol*
Seriously, patience of a Saint!
December 23rd, 2008 at 10:24 am
Ugh…I did a stint in customer service and I still carry the scars. You are beyond patient, my dear.
December 23rd, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Patience just being worn think by someone like that is a very polite and kind way of putting things, flutter!
December 25th, 2008 at 2:17 am
Just wanted to say Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! Sending you peace, joy and blessings.
XXXXX
December 26th, 2008 at 10:51 am
heh. my sister and I read this a few days ago and were amazed by the stupidity.
December 26th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
OH….just oh.
December 26th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I would have gone quietly mad.
December 28th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
I can’t believe you couldn’t find her those pants in her size. Or whip her up a pair on your break, come on! ;P
January 1st, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Wow. You are a VERY patient person to put up with stupidity like that!