The fullness of time
The fullness of time spreads across my wide hips and makes me miss things. Things I’d never considered missing. Innocence, truth, flesh, blood. I am an ever expanding reflection of my own disappointment.
I am barely in control.
I am being pushed/pulled by all things. Moon and sun. Heart and mind, obligation and desire. These things balance me, heavily on this fine knife point. I dare not move for fear of being cut.
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
There’s more than one kind of mirror – and you are beautiful in all of them. And you will move, keep moving, forward. You have to. Wishing you some good days very soon.
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:34 am
Oh.
I think I may have been being tone-deaf last night, and I’m sorry.
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:48 am
*Deep Breath*
“fine knife point” yes! I love this 3 words cos’ that was exactly how I felt when I wrote my post yesterday…. I dare not even move, I wish I won’t even sneeze or that will end this small insignificant me which I’m trying so hard to keep it alive….
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:28 am
All right, You! Come over here and let me hug you for a while. I really don’t know if it helps, but some people think it does and I’m willing to try.
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:31 am
I have nothing enlightening or interesting to say, but this was sad and interesting and pretty.
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:05 am
Very Edgar Allen Poe’esque.
April 3rd, 2009 at 8:11 am
Hrm, you’ve made my mind melt a little today, but in a very good way.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:10 am
totally true about fear, fine ^point^, beautfiful writing about a tough subject.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 am
Your words are always so lovely, even when they depict unlovely things.
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:15 am
Sending love & hugs to you, Christine. This knife point you speak of has a handle on the other side. Someday you will be gripping it…lightly. There is hope.
Your writing always moves me. The talent and the words have music in them. This title would be a great title for a book!
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:28 am
i love you
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Ever wanna stuff time into a gunny sack and pound the shit outta it? Maybe that would help.
Great and horrible imagery though.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
but I want you to know it does get better
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:42 pm
I know it will get better, try to keep it positive, and everything will come together.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I found happiness when I quit thinking I could control any of it.
Personally, I’m blessed by what you have. Don’t worry about what you don’t have, or what you might lose…think about what you will gain. You never cease to amaze me, sweet one.
April 4th, 2009 at 11:14 am
What do you miss, Flutter?
April 4th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Powerful. With a few words you delve deeply into the soul.
April 5th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Beautifully written as usual.
The knife point. I hear you and feel I’ve been there, maybe am there most days.
Locked in, desperate for change but terrified of change.
The knife point.
April 5th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Teetering on one toe on top of the knife point sounds exhausting. My wish for you is that you, soon, get to move to at least a flattened foot for balance.
April 5th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
It’s amazing how sometimes you come upon a post that describes how you feel- and sometimes you don’t even know you’re feeling it.
I am balancing precariously….but I don’t know for how long…
April 5th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
also balancing precariously. between thinking i have it all together, and knowing for sure that i’m going to be found out a fraud any minute.
April 6th, 2009 at 12:32 am
We are all balancing. I think some people just don’t admit it to themselves or others. None of us has any control, only the perception of it.
April 6th, 2009 at 8:19 am
My dear Sister,
You do have away of giving voice to my deepest feelings. I know this feeling.
((HUGS))
April 6th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Pushed and pulled and balancing. Definitely.
April 6th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
hugs. you sound like you need them just now. take care of your self.
April 7th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Sometimes stillness is good. We all need a little STILL every now and then.
April 8th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
“I am an ever expanding reflection of my own disappointment.” Noooooo! That line broke my heart. Flutter, flutter, flutter. You damaged, beautiful goddess, you.
April 8th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Don’t ever give up. You are beautiful.
April 9th, 2009 at 5:27 am
This is poignant and beautiful imagery. So much said in few words.
April 13th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Awesome!