Forgiveness does not absolve us of personal responsibility. We may have been forgiven, but the lingering scar of the transgression remains. Because truth be told, forgiveness is for the soul of the wounded and not the soul of one transgressor. It is to let go of the blackness, the hate and the terror that can eat a heart alive. Forgiven, not forgotten.
So, after all these years, a 44 year old woman has forgiven the man who raped her when she was 13. She’s forgiven him, so should we, right?
Partially because the victim was not a 44 year old woman, but a 13 year old girl. A 13 year old girl who was boozed up and drugged on quaaludes. A girl who may or may not have given consent, to a man 30 years her senior. Which, in case you have forgotten, means nothing when you are 13. At 13 you are unable to weigh the consequences of such a consent. At 13 you cannot legally sign a contract, how can you give consent to your own body?A 44 year old woman can forgive. But that 13 year old girl deserves some justice.
Even if she asked for it, as an adult, it was his responsibility to decline. Because 13 is a child. A 40 year old man, fucking a 13 year old girl is rape.
Unless, of course, you ask Whoopi Goldberg.
One of the many many reasons that Mr Polanski must be prosecuted (aside from his confession and subsequent evasion from authorities), is to change the thinking of people like Whoopi Goldberg. Her dismissive, insulting, nonsensical bullshit is a prevailing, disgusting view of rape.
Or should I say, “rape-rape”?
You see, Whoopi, rape isn’t like Burger King. You don’t get to have it your way. You don’t get to change the toppings to make it a more palatable shit burger to swallow. Rape is a lonesome, horrid, insidious thing and it doesn’t matter if it’s date rape. Or a stranger rape. Or a rape from your partner. Or from your parent. Or your school teacher. Or from a famous man, 30 years your senior.
It doesn’t matter, if you are 13 or 5, or 72, 17 or 44. Rape is rape. So tell, me please, Whoopi..when I gave up, told him I loved him and lay half conscious, was that rape? Rape-rape? Super duper rape with a side of rapesauce? The rapetastic voyage? Does my forgiveness of his piteous soul make what he did to me ok? Does it excuse my nightmares? The altered life I live?
Or is it as disgusting as drugging a 13 year old, having sex with her, admitting it and then running away to avoid a trial? If you’ll pardon me, Whoopi…I think you don’t know what the fuck-fuck you’re talking about. That’s ok, though, I forgive you.
But you damn well better believe, I won’t forget.