Oh, Holy Crap
(sung to the tune of “O Holy Night”. My apologies to the hymn writer and all those who love “O Holy Night” and also, Jesus.)
(further, this isn’t actually my neighbor’s house….but trust me, it isn’t far off)
Oh, Holy Crap
the neighbor’s lights are blinding
the only lights Hubble can see on Earth
Long lay the elf
in the garage deflating
til pumps appeared
and then air filled his girth
the lighted reindeer
in their front yard glowing
as Santa rides a Harley
on the roof
Fall, on your knees!
your retinas are burning
Oh, for the love of God
where did they get all of this crap?
Oh why? Oh why?
Oh why, please tell me why
Fall on your knees
Spongebob is on the front lawn
Oh, Holy crap.
December 28th, 2009 at 6:27 am
AAAiiiiiiAAAAAIIIIIeeeeeEEEEE!!!!!
I thought Spongebob was supposed to be in the manger!
December 28th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Oh mah God, and here I thought Floridians were the only tacky asses getting this gaudy at Christmas time!
December 28th, 2009 at 7:08 am
Tears of mirth fill my eyes, oh benevolent hymn rewriter. Thank you for sharing this reverent display. You crack me up.
December 28th, 2009 at 7:31 am
I didn’t realize Homer Simpson was part of Christmas.
I sang it in my head. Too funny:)
December 28th, 2009 at 8:12 am
OMG. I love O Holy Night and Jesus, but I also love this post. This is hilarious! That house is breathtaking, and I mean that in the worst possible way.
December 28th, 2009 at 8:16 am
I love writing new lyrics to songs!! This is awesome!!
“Fall on your knees/ your retinas are burning”
HA!!
December 28th, 2009 at 9:15 am
A couple of weekends ago, my best friend’s dogs escaped and we had to drive around to find them. We passed some equally insane showings…one house even perpetually played really terrible Christmas music. I’d have lost my mind if that was my neighbor!
I’d suggest sneaking over a stealing a few bulbs…just one bulb and you can take out a strand! LOL.
December 28th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Hahaha
I always wonder what the neighbors think of those ultra lit -up houses!!
You poor, poor girl!
So… you need some trees to plant in the spring?
December 28th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Hilarious! I used to work with a guy who had to put alarm systems in place because people kept making off with his obnoxious, lighted decor. The cuprits? His co-workers.
December 28th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
I didn’t know santa designed whore houses during the off season.
December 28th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Funny, did you hear that funny, yeah this girl said flutter, she’s a funny girl.
That’s her she just threw me to stitches, doubled in half,
and if she’s not right then the world should be sawed in half….
December 28th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Oh good Lord girl. You crack muh shit up.
December 28th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Oh holy crap is right. Thousands of tiny, colorful Christmas lights, I love. Blow up cartoons, and plastic crap, I hate. And that includes cartoonish looking snowmen and santa’s elves and Mrs. Clause. Stick with twinkly lights, people. For the love of goddess.
December 28th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Have I told you lately that you are brilliant? That was freakin’ fantastic. I’ll be singing that to myself all night.
December 29th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Looks like Mom’s neighbor…for real, it does. He tops these guys by dressing like Santa, sitting at the end of his driveway, playing Christmas carols on his keyboard and singing. Yep AND..it’s free! What more can you ask for?
December 29th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Um…is that also a turkey on the front lawn? Holy crap.
December 29th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
(and I love that song. and jesus. and this is still hystercial)
December 30th, 2009 at 6:51 am
PAH! Perfect. I know that guy.
December 30th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
At first I thought it was a dachshund on the roof but no, it appears to be santa’s sleigh…
December 31st, 2009 at 10:55 am
hey. stop taking pictures of my house.
January 1st, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Wow…that’s umm…. festive..
January 1st, 2010 at 4:56 pm
The Bean and I went driving around every. single. night. to look at the Christmas lights, pretty much the entire month of December. He made me pass by the houses with Mickey Mouse and Charlie Brown decorations multiple times, and by “multiple” I mean at least a thousand times each.
I think his head might have exploded if he’d seen this.
January 1st, 2010 at 10:54 pm
*giggle* That was nice!
Happy New Year!
January 2nd, 2010 at 8:48 am
“Fall on your knees” seems to be SO appropriate in the song. Well done, my creative friend.
January 2nd, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Ah, nothing says Christmas like Spongebob! WTF? The world has gone bent.
Miss you Ms. Flutter. Where the hell are you?
Happy New Year!
xo
erin
January 3rd, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Wow. That is something.
January 3rd, 2010 at 9:56 pm
You are so my girl. When people waste time and resources like this–in some overwrought display of WHAT?–I get not only annoyed but genuinely put out. Like, HELLO, feed someone somewhere with that money you’re putting towards the electricity bill, ‘k?
January 4th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
That’s hilarious
January 4th, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Holy Crickey Griswalds!
January 4th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
I love you more than ever.
January 5th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Holy, holy, holy crap, lobster of power and might…
January 11th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
LMAO.